Dying girl's Profile
- Sex: Female
- Age: 17
- Location:
58071
Issues Dying girl is Interested In
- Sexual Abuse - Repressed memories . . .READ RAPE ISSSUE!
- Antisocial Personality Disorder - yeah, i'm antisocial,so what? i'm scared of loneliness, yet it's calming somtimes.
- Depression - I've always been depressed. By everything . . .people, fear, loneliness, failure, love, life, sex, abuse, pain, and sometimes I can't handle it. I tried drugs and alcohol to numb myself and even that didn't work. So now I'm suicidal.
- Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) - ADHD is why i got my ass kicked in elementary school! i was always too hyper to stay still and failed my classes.
- Suicide - I've seen my foster sister and sister try to kill themselves. I used to think I'd never try it. But now it's all i can think about, different ways to end my life. DEATH isn't an end, but a beginning.
- Bipolar Disorder - I've always been double sided. I can be bouncing off the walls with manic happiness and then crying in a corner. No one will acknowledge that i'm bipolar, bcuz then they have to admit they were wrong. Sometimes i do things and then for no reason, start crying. I've done so many things I never thought i'd do.
- Dysfunctional Family - My addict mother tried to drown me, choked my baby brother, and hit my sister with a knife. I never learned to swim. My dad spent ten years beating the life out of my sister, me, and my little brother. He still says we deserved to be beaten!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- Domestic Violence - I've been whipped with wire, hit with screwdrivers and hammers,and throw down the stairs when I was little. I used to be so violent, i'd attack anyone who talked bad about me.
- Emotional Abuse - My dad calls my piece of shit, son of a bitch, dumb shit, moron, stupid, retard,and everything else. Everyone has always treated me like shit and I'm way too used to it.
- Low Self Esteem - I look in the mirror and see someone so ugly, I want to scream! I wear glasses, have black hair, feel fat, and have never had a guy who actually liked me. I barely pass classes and have no real freinds!
- Marijuana Addiction - I have smoked weed as to avoid thinking about the bad in my life! I used drugs to numb the pain in my self. Once the drugs wore off, i had to feel again. How do you live with the pain?
- Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) - I was diagnosed with tihs because I can't get over my abuse.People tell me to get over it, but they never had to feel what i did. I don't like to be touched, or see ppl do fast movements. I'm afraid they'll hit me. I never allowed myself to trust, so others couldn't hurt me. I still live with my abuser and ppl blame me and my siblings for the abuse.
- Rape - I have repressed memories that i can't seem to get. I feel really sad when i hear about rape and am scared of my neighbor. My neighbor was always like and uncle to me, now i don't know.
- Scoliosis - I was called hunchback because i walk funny. My spine is so curved that I could never join sports. We don't have enough money, plus my dad won't pay for a back brace.
- Self-Injury - I cut up my arms.I'm trying to stop. . .I'm holding ice cubes to numb myself. But nothing seems to work. I want the pain to be on the outside because the inside pain hurts too much and i don't think I can handle it.
- Sex Addiction - I have hooked up with guys so i can feel good. No, i'm not a slut. I just wanted to feel hot and like someone wanted me. But gys seem to only want me for my body, so it's hard to find a guy.
- Social Anxiety Disorder - I'm always afraid of what others will think of me. I don't know why. When I think i'll mess up, i'll cry and can't stop. What's wrong with me?
- Stress - I stress out over grades and everything. I'm afraid i might not really be good enough. like everyone says. i'll break down during a test or when my parents yell at me. i'll even cry for no reason at all.
- Shyness - i'm shy and too afraid to get hurt. people call me antisocial and bitchy. i don't want others to judge me.
Dying girl's Story
Pppl also say i'm goth, emo, or freaky, cuz I'm so sad and used to be very violent. I liek to read and listen to rock so I can lose myself. I make friends w/ ppl who r alone & need some1.I'm kind and caring, but sometimes 2 sensitive.
my myspace changes alot: Darkling my yahoo : mzehejtmanek@yahoo.com
Dying girl's Blogs
Dying girl has 2 blogs. [view all]
- Bullying - Wed, March 05, 2008 - [view]
so I feel like crying 24/7. I mean lil things make me happy but also hurt me. My school mates have been abusing me since day 1 and now i can't stand it. I saids i would hurt a guy so the school searched my locker. they found all my poetry about suicide, abuse, and rape. So i had to get a psych evalutuaon. i'm just manically depressed! it doesn&#... - Life gets much worse - Thu, February 21, 2008 - [view]
See, my so called "friend" is in Holland for Foreign Exchange. Somehow she forgot about writing to me until I sent her an email on Myspace. So she said she's my good friend and that i shoul;d write. Here's the problem: i was really depressed one day, so i wrote "I a...