RavenVelith's Profile
- Sex: Female
- Age: 21
- Location:
90210
Issues RavenVelith is Interested In
- Depression - I get lonely really easily and when I get lonely, I feel ignored by my friends and I get depressed. I will cry all day and the ones that do care will feel like I'm a lost cause or that they can't do anything to help me. I'm starting to research going to therapy because of this. But I refuse to take anti-depressants.
- Suicide - The times where I feel really down, I feel like swallowing my whole bottle of allergy medication which I could OD on if I take more than 10 pills. I've hid them from myself until I have to use them.
- Environmental Allergy - I'm hypersensitive to heat and temperature changes from cold to hot. I break out head to toe in hives and it's really embarrassing when I break out and go all red. Even if my body heat goes a little too hot, I'll start to itch.
- Phobia - I have a fear of large groups of people which hinder me from really going out and doing things and I'm also scared of being alone and ignored.
- Panic Attacks - When things start to go wrong for the worst, I am very prone to panic attacks. Hyperventilating, the works. Even recently when I was experiencing a lot of pain from two pulled thigh muscles, I panicked because I was at work and I didn't know what to do.
- Insomnia - There are just times where I can't sleep at night and I'll be up until like...8 in the morning. There are also times where I'll sleep all day. It's not good...it messes up my days.
- Homosexuality - I've always told myself I was bi-sexual but as the days go on, I hate men more and more because the messages I get on facebook disgust me. I've always leaned towards women more anyway. I'm not sure if I'm full out lesbian though. I still like fantasizing about men anyway. But even being bi-sexual causes issues for me...
- Low Self Esteem - I've never been able to look at myself from a good point of view. I've always hated myself because my father put me down all the time when I was younger. It's stuck. And when several guys used me and dropped me when I wouldn't give them what they wanted, I just figured that I wasn't good enough.
RavenVelith's Story
When I was 14, my dad left the house. He'd always put me down, make me feel like shit and when I cut my hair short, he said 'why don't you just get a jock strap while you're at it'? I've always had low self-esteem. I've never felt good enough or worth anyone's time. When I was 15, I was really depressed and tried to commit suicide often. I was very introverted, I lost friends...
Now, I'm 20 and I've reverted back to the way I was when I was 15. I have no friends unless they're online and I can't deal with being awake half the time though most nights I can't sleep. It's too difficult...
I'm also actually in Canada. Southern Ontario...but this site doesn't let Canadians on so...but I need the exposure to others with the same problems...
RavenVelith's Blogs
RavenVelith has 1 blogs. [view all]
- ::.sigh.:: - Mon, March 10, 2008 - [view]
I really hate it when people I normally talk to all the time are online and when I go to talk to them, they hardly talk back. It makes me feel really ignored and rejected. Maybe I'm overreacting a little, but I hate being left alone and right now, I'm alone. It's hurting me really badly and I can't deal with it. I just...feel like I'm losing my friends...And&...