Phobia - I am extremely afraid of dying early in some horribly tragic way. I will keep myself up until 7 in the morning because I think someone is going to break into my apartment and kill me, or the whole place is going to go up in flames. I have also recently developed an extreme fear of flying despite traveling cross country 3-4 times per year for the past 12 years.

Jealousy - I am not jealous all of the time, but when I *do* get jealous, it's generally pretty bad. I never want to be mean or hurtful when plagued with jealousy, it's just that my self-esteem is so low and I can't help but feel inadequate about almost everything. Jealousy only usually affects me pertaining to my relationship with my boyfriend (whom I've been with for 3 years).

Low Self Esteem - As I noted in the "Jealousy" section, I constantly feel inadequate. Whether I am comparing myself to other people, my taste in music/literature/art/etc to everyone else's, my material objects to those of other people, etc, I am just always feeling like I am not up to par. Don't get me wrong: I have days where I feel very good about myself and cannot stop looking in a mirror. Days where I feel extremely intelligent and could carry on a conversation with anyone without being nervous (or turning bright red, which happens more and more frequently). But when I feel bad about myself, I get really down.

Panic Attacks - I do not suffer from frequent panic attacks, but I've had a few. Once when I was waiting in Chicago on my layover, about to get on my second flight of the day. Interestingly enough, I had taken the natural anxiety-buster Kava Kava before my first flight - on the first one, I was fine; completely relaxed and not afraid in the least. But right before my second flight, I lost it. Felt physically ill, couldn't breathe, heart was beating out of control, vision went blurry, started sweating, thought I was just going to die right there on the floor of the airport. My other only definite panic attack was when I got stuck on a small fishing boat with 9 other people in the middle of Lake Michigan. It was 4th of July, dark. All of the boats had gone back into shore and ours was dead - we couldn't find anyone to help us and we didn't have lights. I cried, struggled to breathe, shook, and basically freaked out for 3 hours until the coast guard found us. The second my feet touched land, I was completely fine; back to normal.