hatelife's Hope Cube Profile

Rape - i almost got rape by my this boy once. and he was my cousin. he used to kiss me and touch me places and say that he loved me and that i was beautiful,but i never told my parents until one day. and they got rid of him. i still see him around town. iam scared to this day that he will kill me or really rape this time. he use to tounch me when nobody was looking and when he and myself where alone in my house. i was 12 or 13 when this happened. nobody in my family seem to know. i used to run away from him everytime i saw him. iam still scared he will get me because i told my parents. he was 18-20 at the time.
Headaches/Migraines - i get these alot everywhere i go i get one. i don't tell anybody that i have one,because i think it will pass,but it doesn't. i am getting one right now as i right this.
Back Pain - i get back pains everyday and i am just a teenager. i get mostly when i am in orchestra class and sometimes don't. i told my mom to take me to a crpractor(sp?) but she didn't listen and it still hurts i think it's getting worser everyday.
Insomnia - i can't never get to sleep while everybody in my house can. i stay up late everyday.
Shyness -
Depression -
Suicide - How does this condition affect you? it effects me very much. i think i have nothing to live for.
Homosexuality - How does this condition affect you? by not making me understand if i like guys or girls. i'm so confused:(

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hatelife's Story

i like anime and listening to music,but that's mostly what i live for and when that's over i think i may just kill myself.

hatelife's Blogs
hatelife has 14 blogs. [view all]

hate talk !! - Thu, June 12, 2008 - [view]
today my brother called me a monster,slut and more hateful words. i think he was kidding but it hurt my feelings to hear those words from him. i feel right now like crying or hurting myself right now. :(
sleep - Wed, June 11, 2008 - [view]
i haven't slept in 2 days. and iam not tired at all. i can't get to sleep at all. i don't know what iam going to do when i get back to school .
fight - Fri, June 06, 2008 - [view]
so my family went to a party last saturday. it was boring to me. so went home at 9:19 p.m. but my parent's did'nt get home until 1:30 a.m. when they got home my brother said they had fought. i think it's my fault that they always fight. :(
sleep!! - Fri, June 06, 2008 - [view]
iam trying to get some sleep ,but i can't. well last night i went to sleep at 11:55 a.m.. and tried to get some sleep but i couldn't. so i wanted to know what time it was and it said 1:30a.m. i just could'nt get to sleep.
almost gone - Mon, April 28, 2008 - [view]
i just realize that i will be going to the 9th grade and i will meet new people. the friends that i have right now are going to leave me just like the rest. iam no good at making friends. so how will i survive highschool. i will be friend less and depressed and then maybe kill myself. i hate feeling alone. :(