photo_monkeey's Profile
- Sex: Female
- Age: 30
- Location:
33060
Issues photo_monkeey is Interested In
- Homosexuality - I have been questioning my sexuality since 2000. I have been with woman, but each of them, it is almost like I run away. I married my long time friend in March of 2007, but my sexual feelings for him have totally diminished, but I have feelings for this girl who seems to be my real "soul mate". I need help, choosing what life is best for me, because I just can't make up my mind....Help!!!
- Depression - I have been in depression for 12 years now, I cry, stay in bed a lot, and am on tons of meds. Which don't help at ALL!!! I don't feel happy at all anymore, even when I am doing my favorite hobby, cosplaying. I feel numb to emotion, and cannot make up my mind on very inportant decisions. I really need help, I want to be my old self again, and be happy once more...
photo_monkeey's Story
For the last 10 years, I have been spiraling into an oblivion of depression. I am on a lot of meds, but I am still having a hard time. I am facing conflicts within me, everthing from what I want to do for a living, to my sexual orientation. I was married in March to my long time best friend, but a part of me, loves another who is the same sex. Making decisions is catastrophic, I can change my mind in a matter of minutes... I need help sorting my life, and finding peace...
Aside from that, my hobbies include watching anime, sewing and buying cosplay costumes, going to anime conventions and Renn fests, playing with my doggy, and metaphysical subjects...
photo_monkeey's Blogs
photo_monkeey has 5 blogs. [view all]
- Finding my center - Mon, April 21, 2008 - [view]
Ok, well, I made it through the "not wanting to live thing", but now, I am just blah...I have recently been noticing something, that when I am with my husband, I feel more and more depressed. And I think I know why. He drains me of all my energy. He is smothering me to the point that I am just a shell of what I used to be. My identity is like, gone. He does everything for me, but I do... - Low - Mon, February 25, 2008 - [view]
Right now, I am ready, I am ready to end my life... Never in my life have I felt so worthless in my life. I prayed today, that I wouldn't make it to work. But I did, and now, I can't stop crying. I have a hearing today, that I have to sit through, it isn't even supposed to be my job. But, I have to do it, with a smile on my face. For all of those I gave advice to, I am sorry. I can&... - My findings - Mon, February 18, 2008 - [view]
Ok, I went without anime for about two weeks, and I have come to the conclusion, that is seems to be partially the problem. I noticed, that when I didn't watch it, I seemed to be more playful, a little less stressed, and my attitude seemed lighter. I am not saying that Anime IS the cause, but may be an underlying problem. I went to a new psychiatrist, and he said something that was very pro... - Is anime the cause??? - Tue, February 05, 2008 - [view]
You know, I just noticed something yesterday, that it seems that a lot of people that are on here, me included, are anime fans.... why is that.... does anime have some kind of psychological hindrence? Is it that we get depressed because we know we can never be as pretty, or get the guy or girl in the anime... we get depressed, because we know it is not real??? The reason for this sudden blog, i... - Hitting Bottom - Mon, February 04, 2008 - [view]
I am on these new pills, that my expensive psychiatrist presrcibed. Not only do I feel more depressed, I am very angry. I got in a huge fight with my husband last night, just because I couldn't get my computer to work. Yea, I know, totally un-related. And now, I am at work, and I just want to punch all these asshole co-workers. Well, most of them. I don't get it how people can brag so m...