I drink so i cant feel the pain of being wanted or being excepted by family and friends. I ma the outcast of family and friends. Being drunk makes me feel better, makes me fell wanted and takes all the pain i have ever felt my whole life AWAY. I haven't drank anything since Jun 1, 2008. I know that it hasnt been that long but ya know what its a start.
I believe the cure for is first admittance after major life destruction that I have a problem. My problem was getting angry and going out of control after drinking.
I never was the type that could drink all day every day. I am probably one of the lucky ones because while I am tempted I just made a choice not to do it to myself or to anybody around me anymore. I don't think there is ever any compromises or so called moderation with me. I always drank to a certain point and then I would sleep.
I've known people who drank straight out of a bottle. (Gross) And even after doing that all day they acted normally and even drove like champs. Yeah I know its scary and also not me.
Temptation for me seems to be boredom since I would drink beer while working or cleaning my bike and playing music.
I do owe allot to what support system I have. My friends, family, and even my ex who can't be there for me right now but I know somehow that she is there for me. I keep thinking they should all dislike me and maybe some do. In the end I don't care about being disliked because if I did I would have had nothing to live this long for.
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