For those of you who don't know, Final Fantasy XI is an online game where geeks and stoners from around the world meet to kill fake monsters and form hypothetical relationships.  Basically, it's my way of keeping in touch with the outside world without actually having to live there. ^^; But recently, I had to quit.

You see, that's where I met the person I care so much about.  Whenever I'm around them, I act like a different person.  Always making a fool of myself just to get their attention.  It's ridiculous.  They left for a long time, but have decided to come back…  so, I need distance to keep from turning into that annoying, unlivable person again.

This is very difficult for me, since it's my main source of human interaction.  In the past few days sicne leaving, I've done nothing but sleep, waking a few hours at a time to watch something.  Only, to fall asleep again…

It's that that I'd rather this person not come back.  I just need time to get to a place where we can spend time in the same place without me acting a fool.  If that makes sense…

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