I find myself getting into trouble with this addiction and especially when i get on here. I need help is there any suggestions or words of wisdom from my friends.

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I dont care if my parents are apart of my life, I dont care if they want to kno what's going on in my life; it's too late now. I dont want them to be all concerned about my sexual life after it was done 5 months ago.I really dont want my parents being there to tell me what's right and what's wrong, and telling me that I think they're stupid. You are stupid for coming up with some shity conclusion as that. I dont even kno why my mom thinks that. I dont think she's stupid in that sense but she's fucked in the brain if she  thinks I think she's stupid. "I'llfind out what you guys are doing it's only a matter of time" Like I fucking care. No punishment they give me will fuck me up so bad taht I wont go into it again. That's never stopped somethings they tell me not to do. She tells me not to be flirty and shit around people or else they'll think Im easy. Well Im not, love comes before love making and I would never do anything with anyome on the spot. I may flirt with my friends, they do fondle me and stuff but I would never get intimate with them if I didnt love them. That's why Im so confused about my friend, I want to fool around with him but I dont want to sleep with him>.< I love him, and he's one of the coolest guys ever, but I love him as a friend, and I cant really see us screwing…

 I'm thinking of going on a break…with guys that is. Swithc over to girls for a while.. But the problem with that is that only 3 people kno that Im bi(at my school) and then everyone's gonna think that my ex hurt me so bad I gave up on guys.. Which isnt entirly true:P But I'll see how things takes me with my girl-liking-ness…I'll have a nice laugh if I actually get to havin a girlfriend cheer me on!>.<

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I dont literaly walk around imagining guys naked.I walk around imagining me with my ex and my other friend..I cant stop thinking of him, i cant stop thinking of having sex with him, and cant stop thinking of all the times i gave him head and the other things he did to me. I dont want to m________e because I'm trying to quite that too. Although I might relaps and do it again. And then there's my other friend that supposedly likes me. I dont really think of him in the sense of having sex with him, but I do kinda flirt with him.I dont kno  if I would do him or not but he did say his member was bigger than my ex's but if anyone's taking my virginity, it's my ex, if not my ex boyfriend. I would think of my other friend as a friend with benefits. I wouldnt get into a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship with him, but I would screw around with him once Im not a virgin anymore.If i dont have a boyfriend taht is but even so If im not really interested in the guy, I'd either cheat or break up with him and screw around with my other friend. NOt only that but there's this other really hot guy at school who I want to get together with and give head. but I want to go out with him if that's ever gonna happen. I dont whore myself around, you have to win my heart to get the prize, if you kno what i mean. But right now I honestly dont kno what to do with either of these guys, but with my ex and the hot dude I have to actually start talking to them, but im pretty sure nothing's gonna happen between me and my ex, I just have to go one with my fantasieswith him, which sounds really lame of me but that's what's gonna have to happen until I get a chance to at least talk to him alone let alone get his pants off and suck him dry.

And there was that time when I got really drunk with my friends and I 'exposed' myself to my friend with benefits…I kno I said I wanted to fuck him many times and that I was all over him. And that I kissed his neck when he walked me home, but we had a conversation about him finally deciding his sexuality as a straight person, I kno i said something after taht but I dont kn what. People said I was all over him and taht I was dancing and singing all that jazz, I honestly dont remember most of it. There's just alot of sexual tension going on around me, most of it one sided and some of it equal, but one things for certain, I still really wanna have sex with my ex. I need to watch some porn>_>

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