I'm surprized I'm here, at grade 11. It feels like just the other day I was still meeting my best friends and just meeting everyone I know. But it's been almost three years since then. which amazes me. We only have 2 more years including this one, for my friends and I. I'ts kinda scary, (but I'm staying an extra year so I dont have to freak out in grade 12). My friends and I are talking more and more about what we want to do, getting jobs and homework, it's as if the dramas are too much of a hastle so no one gets into any of them. But there are those people you dont like and the ones who try to avoid you, but If they were smart they wouldnt waste their time thinking about; "I hope she's not in my class, or I'll have to change!" I think people who do that are missing out big time and in a way are completely stupid. You shouldnt be avoiding people you dislike. There will always be people you dislike but there are also going to be situation in which you will have to deal with those people. When you change your course and have to wait for next semester for that class, when suppose you were told first semester was the best semester to have that class. You miss out just because of that person. and then you hate them even more, which isnt fair because you just brought those feelings and decisions on yourself. Besides its the school who does your schedual.

The one thing I dont want to become is a hypacrit (sp) I really dont want to be two faced about certain things or people as well. There are some people I dont like, and they dont like me either, but we treat each other like friends which is weird. But I dont talk smack about them behind their backs, and they better not do the same to me, but it wont matter cause they'd lookstupid in the end. I hate fake friends but one less person to have an uneasy feeling about is fine with me. We're not best of friends which is fine, but they're like the perfect enemy, if your in a big group of people we all get along, we dont share much about each other, and we dont hang out so we dont bother each other. It's because we dont know much about each other that we cant spread rumors, but I'm not a rumor spreading gal' so If I dont like people I hope they are like that as well, it'd be better off for us even though we dont like each other.

Hopefully in this new school year, I'll meet new people, (I already made a new friend) hang out with others I know but dont hang out with that much, and I'll keep the fine relationship with the people I already have. And hopefully anyone that I have a problem with, we put that aside and try to regain at least a bit of the relationship we had, Just need time*.

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It's been such a long time. I should have been updating but I got caught up in my life so yea… Well My ex and I have tried to give it another shot, going again for another 6 months.

but then we seemed disconnected and eventually broke up again. I'm much stronger now. I didnt cry or care all that much. It's just that when you break up, girls are more emotional, while the guy takes 3 seconds to get over you. And that hurts. Sometimes you wish they felt the same pain as you. You wish for them to be happy, but not without you. It's kinda selfish, but I think it's a girl thing, or a high school girl thing, Im sure there are other girls who beg to differ and Im fine with that but this situation is kinda eating away at me.

it reminds me of Real World Hollywood with Joey and his addiction problems..(if anyone watches Real World that is) I seem to be in the same situation. No one really feels or cares to understand nor do they know how to deal with this situation. Many of my friends are friends with him too and I find myself hanging out with them when my ex is around and they talk to him more around me than ever. I just feel left out, and to make it worse; I feel left out by my EX. I try not to let it grap a hold of my heart. I try not to care, but the jealousy seeps in and the anger is the infection of that jealousy, and infections always get worse if not taken care of.

I will be away from everyone alot with summer school and hopefully a job… But getting over him will be hard, but much easier than last year concidering we ended our relationship in a much better way, it feels like we actually completed our relationship; like the stiches are finally out, but the scar is still there. And probably will be for a while. But I have to keep my head up and get away; not run away, from those things that are getting me down and try not to let it bother me. I will always be a positivce person and the good things will come to me and I will be much happier that way with or without my friends or my ex(as a friend as well) I can always make new ones who can treat me right you know?

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Well, lately me and my ex have been hanging out more. We talk more and everything between us is good:) We had a nice conversation about the situation and Thank God! the very thing I wanted him to see has jumped out and slapped him in the face with guilt!!>:D

 He had finally realized what a horrible person he's been to me over the past 3 months. He apologized for it and it seemed to be upseting him very much that he's hurt me. I forgave him and now the wounds have healed.He's changed himself to make things right. And I've noticed that he's changed ALOT.

We've been through so much together and its been hard not talking to each other over that amount of time. I'm really glade we're friends again. We can rebuild our trust in each other and what not.:)

 Hopefully now we can live normally with out so much tension from one another.*phew!*

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