I asked my mother to make me a promise today. It ended with my step-father threatening me.

Before I eleborate, you have to know, I have some things at someone's house that I used to stay with (because of the abuse at home, no less). It's been a year since I lived there and my things are still there. I ask my mother repeatedly to give me a ride there so I can get my things. 

Today I find out she's going to be in the area that I need to go and ask her to take me along so I can get my things. She says no and says that she'll do it tomorrow. 

I don't trust her to keep her word, she is a dishonest person. So I ask her to promise on God's name that she'll keep her promise. Normally I would just ask her to make a normal promise, but she's broken all of those lately. Plus, she believes in all that religious bull, so I thought it would work.

So, I ask for this 'special' promise and she gets extremely defensive. She asks why and when I tell her honestly that I don't trust her. She begins to yell and scream at me and take it personally.

After my mother makes up all kinds of things I said to her (like, I said I didn't care, I didn't need my things, stuff like that), I begin to cry and tell her that she's lying. I go back to what she's trying to distract me from and beg her to just make the damn promise. She continues to make all kinds of false claims.

It's about then that her husband comes downstairs and threatens me. He's the type of person that expects you to know what he wants, when he wants, and if you step out of line for even an instant, he growls a threat, then threatens physical violence, then threatens to kill you. 

I was on step one.

I gave up and ran to my room, screaming for my mom to leave me alone. She stood out in the hall and continued to scream at me, saying things that I honestly couldn't hear.

And it's then that I realize that, to her, I'm just like a pet. Hear me out, it'll make sense; she feeds me when she feels like it, she does not help me take care of needs that I cannot on my own (be it because of age or not having a car) and if ever I don't go perfectly in line with that barbaric 'seen and not heard' thing, she freaks out like I've pointed a gun at her.

Oh, and have I mentioned that she likes to make up some crap about her 20-year-old son being a child?

I really wish she would just go away. She, him and all these people around me. They're awful, abusive and think they can make me do anything they want, just by emotionally or physically pushing me around. 

I'm hiding in my room right now. I really don't feel safe.

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I'd write a more elaborate post but I'm afraid I lack the motivation. 

I'm really not feeling safe in my own home. I'm threatened for voicing my opinions, for things I say in private conversations and for trying to feed myself. My mother and step-father have actually begun to steal food from me. Mind you, I eat one meal a day, if that and am losing weight against my will.

I want to get this information out there. Even if nobody reads what I have to say, I still want it out there.

There are guns in this house. Several, in fact. While the rifles don't bother me, the pistols make me feel nervous. They belong to my step-father. He's a really scary person. We don't talk to each other but he's a violent person. I can just tell. He acts just like my father did before he became recklessly violent.

I don't know what to do about this. I hide in my room all the time but it only sometimes acts as a haven.

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