I would like to get help for my problems and my friends list is always open

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i just had a big fight with my mom, i told her i dont love her, that i dont think of her as a mother

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I am new on this site and am hoping for some support from others with chronic pain. I have had the constant pain for 4 years now due to an injury suffered at a physical therapy session. How's that for ironic?

 Anyway, I have up and down times. Times where I can bear the pain and times when I just don't see how I am going to keep going. Today is one of those days. I depend on my faith a lot as well to get me through.

I am looking forward to seeing how others deal with the pain and hopefully I will be able to help others as well. Thanks for taking the time to read this.

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MY LIFE IN THE DARK IS NEW TO ME. I LIVE IN A WORLD WHERE THERE IS SOUND NO LIGHT. I FEEL LIKE I'M IN THE BLACK HOLE ALL ALONE. MY HUSBAND DAVID HELPS ME AS BEST HE CAN. HE PUT BRAILLE LABELS AROUND THE HOUSE TO HELP ME FIND MY WAY AROUND.

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Sometimes I feel like I don't even know who I am, anymore.  I'm just going through the motions of life.  I've been pursuing things that I used to think I wanted and they just don't fit anymore.  Nothing makes sense.  All I know for sure is that I want a real life that I can call my own.  Other than that, I feel lost.

I don't even know what I believe anymore.  That's the hardest part to take.  I used to have a strong spiritual base.  I tried to maintain it these last few months, but even that has crumbled away slowly.

I feel so….. empty….. and ….. blank.  It's like nothing is real.  There's nothing there.  It's not the same as depression, I've been there; but even that's gone. 

I still have moments of joy, moments of sorrow.  I still experience the full range of emotions, but nothing holds lasting meaning for me anymore.  I don't even know if that's a good thing or a bad thing.  To my feelings on it, it's neither.  It's just there.

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last night i od'd and cut myself and i'm still cutting myself in the same place watching the blood ooze out, it's completely noticable. my dad swore at me, he was awnry and mean and it really hurt me so when i was alone, i was crying and cutting myself and od'ing and i'm still here =|

i saved the knife, it has my blood on it, i use it to cut down deeper, the cut cut stings and i just sit there and don't even treat it. i'm the kind of peep that 'cannot' handle any kind of pain wut so ever, i'm too emotional.

i hate peeps i can't work with them and sum1 told me that i didn't 'qualify' 4 ssdi. every minute my depression deepens and i'm still at the bottom of an xtremely deep muddy hole with a sad face, if sum1 tried to help me, i wouldn't budge, i totally lost wut held my grip on life/reality =|

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… I cried so hard. 

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I've found an online school that covers courses that interest me.  I really want to study this, but I've heard a lot of bad things about correspondence courses (not the least of which is that nobody recognizes degrees earned through them), so I'm really scared to follow through. 

I'm afraid that this will turn out to be another pipe dream and that I'll hit yet another brick wall.  But at the same time, the courses covered are the direction in which I really want to go.  And normal colleges don't offer these courses.  I couldn't afford to go if they did.

I'm kind of thinking that I should do this before it gets accepted by the mainstream because then it would become inaccessible to me.  If I can get in there before that happens, I'd be okay and able to build a future for myself.

I'm so nervous though!

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I kinda like this website. It's a place where you can safely complain about all your troubles without having some idiot saying "wah wah wah quit crying" or "lol emo". You get so tired of going around pretending to be happy and that everything is fine because you don't want people to go around giving you their horribly bad advice which you know they have no idea what they're talking about. Only way you can understand it is to be experiencing it really.

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i got there and did some work, and a few days later while on the job i blacked out so they sent me home.

why do i have to have this damn problem. 

but hey some good news for u guys, doctors and other people are getting together to help me, so i can live on my own with out fer of death and that type of stuff.. my life is looking good now.

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