I'm in bad shape.

I'll put it how I told my sister Joi: I lost control of my truck, and I broke a stop sign. No one was hurt, the police were cool about it, my parents seem alright with it, but I'm just a mess about it for some reason. I held myself together to talk to the cop, and to talk to my parents, but then I just lost it and had a total breakdown, and I haven't had a panic attack in a really long time, not a legitimately oh my god I'm gonna die one like that.

So, yeah, I'm still in that state a little bit, breathing problems and dissociation and whatnot. Not to mention paranoia. I'm just totally in a bad scene and I can't say why.

Comments(1)

He ignored me today probably because of yesterday. I'm not sure why but I think he gave up on me. I feel really bad to. I want him to talk to me but at the same time I don't want him to. It's happening again. I'm sure if we be friends then I'll only get hurt again. I should try avoiding him and focus on my work because exams are coming up.

He was really nice though..I feel bad

Comments(1)

Generic Cialis

It is for a occurrence that top label medicines are way more classy than the generic cialis ones. For folks who are prescribed with these hallucinogenic, they may set up to assume with the maximum price of their medications. Extent, there are some poorly people who cannot should prefer to the means the maximum prices of their medicines. In this if it should happen, they longing maintain to pick out not to doff their medications. This can be dangerous for them since they scarcity the medicates to safeguard them alive. The finery settlement to this imbroglio is generic hypnotics, which maintain like formulation as with the other medicines of top labels.

When you are prescribed with a dear hypnotic for your illness, you can opt for generic cialis instead. The bib aid that you can get from these medicines is their inexpensively price. Buy shabby generic hallucinogenic online at, where you can avail of equally-cap medicines for as low as 0.49 cents. This select cede to you to get the nevertheless

Effects for such a low price. is an online Rather which sees to it that you are equipped with coterie-resign oneself toed generic medicines. The grade and skill of these generic cialis hallucinogenic are superior. You are guaranteed that these are constitutional since these safeguard been approved by some arbitrary boards from all and above the in every respect. Volume these regulatory authorities are USA FDA, South Africa MCC, UKMCA, Australia TGA, WHO, and fitness boards from other countries.

Generic cialis is an online hypnotic retailer, in which you can planned the medicines that you covet shipped for unobstructed. Whether you are residing at the other end of the coterie, this online chemist's shop bequeath take off trusty that your harmony

Arrives at your access. Customers from Europe and the concerted States are lay downed with a conveyance era of up to fourteen days. Buy upended inexpensively medicates online for prices ranging from 0.49 cents to 1.99 cents. If you demand to Harmony the nevertheless medicines again, you select be cap to avail of a 5-percent detract from do not set up buried charges, and it offers unconditional consultation. The buyer benefit services of this hypnotic fund are equipped 24/7.

Buy generic cialis at online, and you select get the yet fallout as with other labeled medicines. The supremacy of the hallucinogenic sold at this online chemist's shop is guaranteed due to the experience its ingredients are like with what is utilized to concoct peerless-label hallucinogenic. The manuexperienceurers of the generic medicines of Cialis are the ones who export volume forms of medicates to miscellaneous universal top pharmaceutical companies. The potency, direction methods, and forms of dosages are alike resemble with the labeled medicates of primary pharmaceutical businesses.

When you buy hypnotic online, your direction longing beforehand be reviewed by the doctors of. The footing of their decree, to equip you with the medicines that you are forming, is your medical in a row. After they go and above your formula, they bequeath approve it.

Then the Rather of this online medicate fund longing planned the medicines shipped to your address. Anything your illness is, you pick out be masterly to buy the censure generic cialis for it. You can impartial buy cialis!levitra! Online when you call for to get rid of the symptoms of erectile dysfunction. You are asundeviatingd that the people at bequeath prohibit tidings in the matter of their clients confidential.

Author: Jeff Hardy      http://www.onlinepharmacy.vg/catalog/-c-32_469.html

Comments(0)

Today I felt happy because he was here. I realized that when he's not at school I want to leave and every morning I want to go to school because of him. He's the only one that talks to me at school and I feel great that he does. I'm scared though that he'll leave me and I'll be hurt again. I'm trying to rebuild my social life again but I can't trust anyone.

I hope I'm able to trust him or at least keep him intrested in me until the end of this year.

Comments(0)

It's been a while since I've been on here and I felt slightly lonely, so I decided to make a new post.

I just got out of the hospital. Fun stuff, right? For anorexia.. whoo. My psychaitrist(yes, I know I can't spell) put me on seroquel and prozac, which actually do wonders.

And so now I'm back.

Let me think of something to ramble about..

School is going alright. I have two people I sort of talk to, but not exactly. One of them only rides my bus, Colten. Colten and I are going shopping next weekend. I'm showing him where and how to get diet pills in exchange for him holding some laxatives/diet pills for me since I know my father will search me for pills when I get home.

So.. can someone say relapse?

But anyway.. The hallucinations have been acting up a little, but my mood swings have lessened. Exchange one for the other?

I turn 15 towards the end of December. Ha, I still feel like an indolent twelve year old sitting on the steps on an old church with bullet holes in the stain glass.. (I used to do that all the time- my favorite place in that neighborhood)

Things are going well family-wise now that I'm in 'recovery.' I wish they could see how depressed it makes me to eat, I really do. It just seems so unfair to me right now, even though I know they love me and want me to continue living.

But sometimes I don't want that.

 I seriously thought about over dosing on my meds tonight.. and am still planning on it- while drinking a bottle of wine(the only alcohol we have in the house)

I cut myself pretty badly today.. I started shaking and kind of collapsed into a corner with my hands over my head, then got out the needles and scissors. I don't cut with knives or razor blades.

I have a ton of homework that I don't know how to do.. Hopefully I can copy someones' tomorrow? I usually let people copy mine and they usually get the questions right.. Eh- my first grade card for this year said straight A's.. I'm anxious to see what it says now that I've fallen so fair behind in my own little world.

I haven't written any stories for three years.. Writer's block isn't ever going to leave it seems.

Why am I watching TV with the sound off? I know I can't understand what they're saying. Why am I watching TV at all? I never do, really..

I went hiking yesterday for an hour. Then, once I was home- I ran for two hours.

Today I jogged for an hour.. I was sore from yesterday, so I tried to take it easy. I asked my father if we would start going to a gym. He said that we could… yay?

I feel.. indifferent right now. I wish I was somewhere.. on the beach, maybe.. Just walking along, watching a sunset. Maybe even a sunrise

Sunset or sunrise? Which do I enjoy the most? I have no idea.. Probably sunrises.

So, a sunrise it is.

–Meghan

Comments(0)

Today I learned, a few weeks after it happened as I live in the US where we don’t hear about these sorts of things, that courts have ordered the proclamation of Richey James Edwards to be dead. I don’t quite know how to handle this; he’s been such an influence on my life and I guess I’m in denial that he could be dead after all this time of hoping that he’s still alive, just missing somewhere. I still think he is; three cheers for the stages of grief. I really want to cut right now. I know I sound overdramatic to some, but I identified a lot with Richey Manic. His self-injury, his depression, his self-disgust, his world-disgust, all things I found solace in being able to say “I’m not the only one.” Maybe I’m just afraid that after all this time of just knowing for certain that one day he’d come back, that the idea of him being truly gone could mean that the part of me that identified with him went with him off of that bridge. Whatever the case, Richey Manic is forvever in my memory.

Comments(0)

I believe it's time to write a blog that is so long anyone who might try and read it will just say "screwit".

My name is Tré, and I'm a silly teenager. I like indie/alt rock, existing with my inner circle of friends, and trying to be like my favorite musicians. I hug everyone I can, and would consider myself a failure if I didn't leave this world a significantly better place than it currently is.

That's only the half of it, though. Underneath all that is a boy who hates himself, cuts himself, and wants to kill himself a lot of the time. He has been showing up in my life less and less often lately, but he's still there.

Recently, I told everything, literally everything, to a friend who before that one night didn't know even that I cut myself. I told her about my abuse and self-injury and suicidal thoughts, all of it. I don't even know why it was her, though I'm glad it was because I can trust her not to talk.

I just got finished with a four week period of not cutting. Last night I gave in to my urges, but, ultimately, I feel better, more awake now that I appeased myself somewhat.

Wow, that was a lot shorter than I thought.

Comments(0)