I dont even know where to begin but i need to start somewhere right ??

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I wish I could say it hasn't been in my mind lately, but that would be a lie. I haven't yet, and I haven't gotten so low as to give it a try; I guess those are positives. The problem is that with the last two weeks straight of holiday break and the Minnesota cold keeping me indoors, I've had to be around my family. I've never felt particularly loved or cared for in their eyes, but lately it's been a pervading feeling that I'm completely unwanted. And yes, there is a distinction between the two. Before, I was tolerated. Now, it feels like I'm blatantly wanted gone. It got to be too much for me too handle and I want into rapid cycling by the end of the first week at home. I still haven't cut for over four weeks, but I want to desperately want to. I guess all I can say in the way of updating is nothing.

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Hey everyone! Welcome the new year! It's now 2009, and I still have not cut!! However, it is unfortunate to report that i do still think about it. It has more frequent lately tho… I have also found that i have a new addiction to picking scabs. I have scars all over me from bugbites that pick at until there is nothing but scars… I guess this is considered "self-mutilation", but i don't catergorize it under my cutting problems…it's just a habit. Anyway, I'm doing great. I joined the chess club in my school to put my mind to good use, but i must say that i'm not all that good at it…o well. ^.^ Stress is down but the headaches do come and go. All in all, i'm still doing great. Thanks again everyone!

FyreSakura

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