Hey everyone, it's been a loooong time, and i have some bad things to report. I am now, once again, an avid cutter, cutting over 40 times each night for about a week now. For the first time like ever, blood is dripping, the pain barely exists as i cut, and my leg swells a little where i cut. i know now that i really do have a problem with this, and that it just wont go away on its own. I tried all the coping mechanisms i read on the internet, like the ice and the rubberband, but it didn't work and now i'm cutting again. i'm not abusing anymore, but i have tried a couple times to no success (i know that sounds bad…) However, i do have some good things to report. i now have a boyfriend who i like very much and i believe will help me through this phase (although he doesn't know about my cutting). he is very sweet and supportive of my feelings. i also want to ask a question to anyone out there reading this who has maybe done the same thing. I am thinking of getting help from my school councelor, but i'm scared of her 'reporting' me to my parents, etc. if i would tell her, do u think she would do that because my habit 'endangers a student' and therefore she needs to report it? idk, help with this please!! the other thing is that i'm good friends with    the councelor and i have a major image i need to keep up, i mean, i'm 3rd in my class! it will be catostrophic if i mess that up! help please, i need advice!

Thanks,

FyreSakura

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My mother is batshit. Simple as that.
However, I'm not so lucky as to have a mother that's obviously batshit crazy. No, my mother is a histrionic ass-kisser who is incapable of empathy and honesty. She's not quite a sociopath, but she's pretty damn close.

I went out today, took the bike everyone uses that we keep in the garage. I had some fun finding an alternative for a bike lock, seeing as I couldn't find the one I normally use. Anyway, I got back, was completely exhausted and left the bike in the backyard to be put away later. My mother comes home, notices it, and comes upstairs to bitch at me about it. She never asked if I was done with it, if I was going to eventually put it away, she just came upstairs and started right off in 'fight mode'.

Normally, I would shoot her down by telling her what was going on, she'd get infuriated and embarrassed, start screaming… blah blah blah. You get the idea. This time, I ignored her once she got off-topic. She bitched about how rude that was but, honestly, I don't care.

Now, you'd think that someone looking for a fight would ultimately give up and deflate if they got no response at all to feed off. Nope, not my mother. She got herself wound up without my even acknowledging her escalating temper and stomped off screaming about something-or-other. Honestly, I stopped listening.

Though… it was kind of satisfying when she slammed my door like a teenager.

I don't think this is one of my usual 'woe is me, my life sucks' posts. I'm actually still in a good mood. Though I doubt that'll last, my mother's probably going to come back to my room and try to pick another fight with me later. She usually does when she 'loses'.

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i mean after a long time the docs have told me that what i have is not Autism  i am so happy now. but the bad thing is they still don't know what does or what id happening to my brain. it's really sad, i am really sad.

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