April 25, 2009
Well, a horrible thing to report…
Hey everyone, it's been a loooong time, and i have some bad things to report. I am now, once again, an avid cutter, cutting over 40 times each night for about a week now. For the first time like ever, blood is dripping, the pain barely exists as i cut, and my leg swells a little where i cut. i know now that i really do have a problem with this, and that it just wont go away on its own. I tried all the coping mechanisms i read on the internet, like the ice and the rubberband, but it didn't work and now i'm cutting again. i'm not abusing anymore, but i have tried a couple times to no success (i know that sounds bad…) However, i do have some good things to report. i now have a boyfriend who i like very much and i believe will help me through this phase (although he doesn't know about my cutting). he is very sweet and supportive of my feelings. i also want to ask a question to anyone out there reading this who has maybe done the same thing. I am thinking of getting help from my school councelor, but i'm scared of her 'reporting' me to my parents, etc. if i would tell her, do u think she would do that because my habit 'endangers a student' and therefore she needs to report it? idk, help with this please!! the other thing is that i'm good friends with the councelor and i have a major image i need to keep up, i mean, i'm 3rd in my class! it will be catostrophic if i mess that up! help please, i need advice!
Thanks,
FyreSakura

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